Vanishing

from vice versa by splits

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lyrics

There’s one thing I was never taught
And that’s how to be alone
And getting past myself
Takes more than vision boards of growing old
That awful pressure, my regret measured
By every tragic time I fold into nothing, into myself
I’m in no rush and maybe that’s the problem
I keep trying to recreate who I was before the trauma
I wish to be a monarch to my kin
But I have always been the hydroplane in the tailspin
I thought I’d be a good mother

It’s meant to be bad, regressing towards the past leaves you stagnant
Even if you mapped it differently
I swear it’d never end up being better

I’m running out of shoulders, 3 A.M. companion gone
Extracting my seeds, so prematurely
To see if they’ve really grown or not
I’m the person that I say I hate
I blame all my behavior on the way that I was raised

Is it still an honor to know someone
Their reflection, boiling water
What if they’re scatter-feared, overwhelm-your-ears, round-in-circles thinker?
I just want to contribute to more than this
I can hear myself in your ears, anxious bliss

credits

from vice versa, released January 8, 2021

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splits Chicago, Illinois

chicago heartcore

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